Depression Is

Depression is endless days and sleepless nights.

It’s feeling everything and nothing at the same time.

Depression is wearing a 50-pound cloak while walking through sludge.

It’s drowning and not remembering how to breathe.

It’s forgetting how to tie your shoelaces.

It’s pain in every part of your body.

It’s feeling hollow and having the light inside you extinguish.

It’s wanting to sleep all day but being afraid of the nightmares that may come.

Depression kills your memories.

It’s the fetal position, hoping the world will swallow you up so the pain can end.

It’s being surrounded by loving family and friends and feeling alone.

It’s seeing the world in shades of gray.

It’s a pounding headache and churning gut.

Depression is everyone talking in a language you don’t understand

It’s forgetting what joy feels like and causes you to believe it is your eternal reality.

It’s wanting to find anything that will stop the noise in your mind.

It’s wanting to go to sleep and never waking up.

Depression is not being able to make simple decisions.

Depression steals your desire to live.

It’s waking up to a nightmare every single day.

It’s trying to figure out how people feel happy when you have no hope for the future.

It’s believing the world wouldn’t care if you were no longer in it.

It’s pushing people away so they don’t have to deal with the worthlessness you feel.

Depression causes you to feel you deserve the hell you are living in.

It can be so hard to understand the torment of the mind and even harder to explain. It’s nearly impossible for someone struggling with major depression to make decisions. My husband and dad had to step in and get me the help I needed. I know I wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t. One of the best things for me when I was struggling was someone listening and not judging. Someone that didn’t tell me what I was feeling was wrong or that it was all in my head. The feelings of depression are very real, telling me I had worth and reminding me of all the blessings I had made the shame worse and the depression stronger. One of the most powerful things that can be said to someone struggling with depression is, “I hear you and believe you. We will figure this out together”

If you are struggling with depression, I see you. I know how hard it is. I know how dark the mind can become. I understand the fear of never feeling better. I understand the desire to end your suffering. I know you can find healing. I know you can become whole again. I was in a very dark place and I got out of it. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. You too can find healing. I promise it can get better.