Makaila Kristine

Today is the last day of Eating Disorder Awareness Week. I think it’s important to share stories of hope with others while on this journey. We need to be reminded that RECOVERY HAPPENS.

My daughter wrote the following. She has graciously given me permission to share a small look into her journey with an eating disorder. It is her hope, and mine, that her words bring others hope.

My daughter will celebrate her 26th birthday next week. Seven years ago, I was terrified she wouldn’t make it till her next birthday. Not only will she celebrate her birthday in complete recovery, she wants CHEESECAKE for her birthday cake this year. Many of you will understand the significance of that. Since writing this, my daughter has celebrated 6 birthdays. Six birthdays that I worried she wouldn’t be able to celebrate. For those of you still in the trenches - stay strong. Hold on tightly to hope. It gets better and recovery happens.

My daughter is my hero, she is a beacon of strength. It is an honor to be her mother.

*****TRIGGER WARNING****** talk of eating disorder

“I met my “friend” Ed when I was a girl about 6 years old. At the time my mom was pretty health-conscious, went to the gym most days of the week, and was taking supplements such as Slim Fast. I always felt that if she would be happier if she lost weight, then I’d be happier if I did the same. Thus started my long daily battle with the scale and the mirror.

I’ve always been taller than most other girls, and I didn’t realize that I need to weigh more than them as well. The day I hit 100 lbs was the day my world went into chaos. The last thing I wanted to do was tell my parents because I was convinced they’d be mad at me.

At age 11 we moved from our small town in Idaho to Denver, CO. Even on the first day of school in 6th grade I was put down for being ugly and fat and it was even suggested to me several times that I should put my life to an end for it. This fueled a terrible cycle of binge-eating and compensatory exercise.

Fast forward about 7 years and it’s my senior year of high school. We moved to a small town in Utah and I started my last year of high school there. Within the first month, I had already dated and broken up with a guy who was cheating on me with 3 girls and taken advantage of in the worst way by his best friend. This lit a fire under my behind into full-blown anorexia. Over the course of 2 years, Ed had deteriorated everything from my body, mind, personality, and relationships. I can’t tell you how many red lights I ran because I couldn’t pay attention. Anorexia turned into bulimia and my life spiraled further and further down. At this time I was fully engrossed in the Pro-Ana community along with much drug and alcohol abuse.

"At the bright age of 19, I decided an ED was NOT awesome and in fact, he’s a sinister entity. I decided to get help and for REAL this time. I admitted into the Center for Change in May and decided this is my last stay in treatment. I lived for recovery for the 3 months I was in there and still do to this day. I’ve learned that food is for enjoying! It’s GOOD for me and it HELPS me live in more than just a physical aspect. I can enjoy life now. My parents and friends always commend me on my spitfire personality and sense of humor. I laugh hysterically and love myself and those around me. This is really watered down, but I wanted to emphasize the recovery part. Moms (parents/friends), help yourself, your daughters, sons, nieces, friends, ANYONE fighting this awful disease. Recovery tastes sweeter than anything"!

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