When Mother's Day is Hard

Mother’s Day can be a day of celebration and a day of deep sadness. It can be a day of “what if” and “if only”. It can be one of the hardest days of the year. Some will spend the day celebrating with their children, while others mourn the loss of a child. For many women, Mother’s Day is a reminder of what they can’t have or what they lost. For some, it’s a day of joy for others, a day of regret.

On this Mother’s Day weekend, I am thinking of the mothers who have buried a child. I am thinking of those women who are struggling with infertility. I am thinking of birth mothers who made the ultimate sacrifice so another woman can be called mom.

I am thinking of mothers who have recently had a child diagnosed with a terminal illness or have a child in residential treatment. The mothers who are spending the first Mother’s Day away from their children.

I am thinking of the mother who doesn’t know where her child is. The mother who rarely sleeps or has time for herself. I am thinking of mothers who wonder what they could have done differently. The mothers that would give anything to hug their child one more time. The mothers who are struggling with a mental illness barely function and wondering how they are going to get through the day.

I am thinking of the mothers caring for disabled children. The moms who care for a child struggling with a mental or physical illness. The moms who are dealing with a sick child and have no support. I am thinking of the single mothers who are both mother and father to their child.

I am thinking of the mothers who are alone on Mother’s Day. The mothers hoping to rebuild a relationship with their children. I am thinking of women who have miscarried, had a stillbirth. Women who have not had success with IVF. I am thinking of grandmothers, stepmoms, and foster moms who are caring for children that aren’t their own and love them like they are.

On this Mother’s Day weekend I am thinking of anyone that is mourning the loss of a mother, wife, sister, stepmother, mother figure, friend.

To women everywhere who skip the Hallmark card aisle or miss church so they don’t have to listen to a mother’s day program. To the women who hold the tears in and hope no one notices. To the women whose child forgets mother’s day. For anyone who holds their breath a little more this time of year. I see you. I sit with you. There is no wrong way to feel. You are not alone.